Last night I attended Rob Bell's "Drops Like
Stars" tour here in Des Moines with a group of friends from The Gateway
Church. It was excellent. Rob is such an incredible communicator and his
ability observe, react and adjust to a brand new audience (he had never been to
Iowa before) was fascinating.
Anyway, if you want to get a feel for the night buy the
book.
For now I wanted to share one story Rob shared last night.
It is the story of Hugh Gallagher who applied to NYU and was asked this
question:
3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE
ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE
ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT
EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE
HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
Here is how he responded:
I am a dynamic figure, often seen
scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on
my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I
translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage
time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and
godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with
unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an
expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass
of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin
from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the
Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large
suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after
school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete
analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line
of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I
receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend
passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force
demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in
international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small
moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and
David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining
room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the
supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once
a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small
bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I
frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate
in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot
to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a
mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in
San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the
Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have
spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.