Paul Stewart

Books for Singles

We are in a sermon series right now at Gateway entitled Marriage, Sex & Singleness. Christianity presents a revolutionary view on each of these topics. It is a view that was as controversial then as it is now. CS Lewis wrote that the Christian teaching on sex has always been the most unpopular of all the Christian virtues. 

There is no getting away from it: the old Christian rule is, “Either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.” Now this is so difficult and so contrary to our instincts, that obviously either Christianity is wrong or our sexual instinct, as it now is, has gone wrong. - CS Lewis, Mere Christianity

Of course he argues the latter but today the Christian ethic of abstinence outside of marriage is considered at best laughably unrealistic, and at worst pathological and abnormal. In fact, the primary reason Christians do not have the conviction to challenge our present-day culture on these issues is that a growing number of Christians now doubt the entire Christian teaching on human sexuality. They feel it is wrong to condemn any consensual sexual behavior.

The challenge for Christians in the 21st century is not to use the same old arguments to try to persuade our culture, yet neither should Christians blindly or reflexively adjust theology just to accommodate the sexual revolution of our day.

The church needs to, first of all, reexamine the biblical teaching to see if modification or rediscovery is in order. And then, maybe even more importantly, wrestle with how we remain faithful to this most unpopular Christian virtue in the midst of the sexually saturated, individualistic, and consumer-driven culture we find ourselves in.

Additionally the church must do a much better job of understanding, resourcing, and supporting those who whether by choice or by circumstance, for a season or for life, find themselves called to singleness. Here are a few books that would be a great place to start (HT: Anna Broadway)

Sexuality and Holy Longing: Embracing Intimacy in a Broken World
Lisa Graham McMinn (Jossey-Bass)

McMinn provides a helpful framework for single-Christian sexuality that reckons equally with the reality of embodiment, the Bible, and our cultural moment. She's especially insightful on subtler dynamics, such as the ways women compete for men's attention.

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart without Losing Your Mind
John Van Epp (McGraw-Hill)

Singleness often means keeping one eye open for romantic prospects. But the American church has provided much conflicting and confusing advice on the search for love. Counselor and Christian Van Epp has the best advice I've read on finding a partner.

Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life under Christ's Control
Elisabeth Elliot (Revell)

Some books on singleness and chastity downplay the strength of desire one may face, but Elliot grapples candidly and boldly with both her sexual and romantic longings and the God she loves. Rightfully a classic.

Hinds' Feet on High Places
Hannah Hurnard (Wilder Publications)

Though not a traditional "singleness" book, anyone struggling through a protracted and unwanted romantic dry spell may draw strength from this memorable allgory about the painful but worthwhile journey of following Jesus. This encouraged me to trust him more deeply.

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Additionally, Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill is a must read to understand a homosexual Christian's understanding of this issue.

Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality
Wesley Hill 

Part memoir, part pastoral-theological reflection, this book wrestles with many areas of struggle that many gay Christians face: What is God's will for sexuality? If the historic Christian tradition is right and same-sex behavior is ruled out, how should gay Christians deal with their resulting loneliness? Author Wesley Hill is not advocating that it is possible for every gay Christian to become straight, nor is he saying that God affirms homosexuality. Instead, Hill comes alongside other gay Christians and says, 'You are not alone. Here is my experience; it's like yours. And God is with us. We can share in God's grace.'

The New Rebel

"The new rebel is a skeptic, and will not entirely trust anything. He has no loyalty; therefore he can never be really a revolutionist. And the fact that he doubts everything really gets in his way when he wants to denounce anything. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind; and the modern revolutionist doubts not only the institution he denounces, but the doctrine by which he denounces it.

As a politician, he will cry out that war is a waste of life, and then, as a philosopher, that all life is waste of time.

A Russian pessimist will denounce a policeman for killing a peasant, and then prove by the highest philosophical principles that the peasant ought to have killed himself.

The man of this school goes first to a political meeting, where he complains that savages are treated as if they were beasts; then he takes his hat and umbrella and goes on to a scientific meeting, where he proves that they practically are beasts.

In short, the modern revolutionist, being an infinite skeptic, is always engaged in undermining his own mines. In his book on politics he attacks men for trampling on morality; in his book on ethics he attacks morality for trampling on men. Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything."

- GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy

The Celebrity Pastor

It was fascinating to watch Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) struggle last night during his acceptance speech at the Grammy’s. He was visibly uncomfortable receiving the award for Best New Artist, wanting to show proper gratitude but at the same time distance himself from the event, presumably, out of fear of being swallowed up by the pop culture machine. Vernon said that when he started writing music he did it not for awards or accolades but for the inherent reward of making songs. Vernon was uncomfortable because he knew that there is a big difference between being a ‘musician’ and a ‘celebrity’ - and the two do not always fit well together.

There has been much written recently about the phenomenon of the ‘celebrity pastor’ - think Rob Bell, Mark Driscoll, Steven Furtick, etc. In many ways this is nothing new. Even in the early church Christians were aligning themselves with famous apostles like Paul, Apollos and Cephas (1 Corinthians 3:21). We all have a natural tendency to make our leaders into idols - and leaders have a natural tendency to turn their “platform” or their personal “brand” into an idol as well.

Bob Hyatt wrote this morning about his own struggle with the pursuit of pastoral fame. “I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a danger to my soul in pursuing more exposure, more name recognition, more money to be made from thinking, writing, and speaking about ministry issues.”

Hyatt argues that we must separate celebrity from pastoral work. “Local church ministry should not be a stepping stone to anything, least of all to fame and fortune. It should not be easier for CNN to get in touch with a pastor than for someone in his own congregation.”

Skye Jethani helps to break down this phenomenon even further. He argues that there is more than a spiritual or psychological reason behind the rise of today’s pastoral pantheon. There is a systemic economic force at work as well. Evangelicalism is a very large business. Some estimate the total evangelical market to be over $7 billion a year. A market, just like any other, that must be sustained. Jethani points out that “This market-driven cycle of megachurches, conferences, and publishers results in an echo chamber where the same voices, espousing the same values, create an atmosphere where ministry success becomes equated with audience aggregation.” Sounds a lot like pop-music to me.

In Matthew 4 we’re told that Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to to be tempted by the devil. The tempter came to him three times with three different temptations. “If you are the Son of God... tell these stones to become bread... throw yourself off the temple and have the angels rescue you... worship me and I will give you all the kingdoms and the splendor of this world.” Henri Nouwen points out that these were essentially the temptation to become relevant, to do something spectacular, and to become popular and powerful. These are the same temptations we all face in Christian leadership. Why are these temptations so potent? Because each one offers an easy substitute from the hard task of love.

Christian leadership is about love. It is not about fulfilling our need to be relevant to a market audience, it is about about giving and receiving the life-giving love of our Creator. It is not about becoming popular, it is about being rooted in a community where you can know and be known. It is not about power and control, it is displaying the same kind of mercy, humility and service Jesus showed to the world.

May we minister not for the awards or the accolades, but for the inherent rewards of serving Christ and his Church.

A Band of Natural Enemies

"The church is…made up of natural enemies. What binds us together is not common education, common race, common income levels, common politics, common nationality, common accents, common jobs, or anything else of that sort. Christians come together…because they have all been saved by Jesus Christ and owe him a common allegiance… They are a band of natural enemies who love one another for Jesus’ sake."

Quote: Don Carson, Love in Hard Places
Image: JR, Face2Face Campaign

Confession: I Am Not Hungry Enough

A Jesus Manifesto

Yesterday authors Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola posted a "Magna Carta for Restoring the Supremacy of Jesus Christ" a.k.a. "A Jesus Manifesto for the 21st Century Church."

The reason: they believe that the church today suffers from "Jesus Deficit Disorder". That the person of Jesus is being replaced by the language of “justice,” “the kingdom of God,” “values,” and “leadership principles.” 

Pretty powerful stuff.

Here are the final two paragraphs:

"If Jesus could rise from the dead, we can at least rise from our bed, get off our couches and pews, and respond to the Lord’s resurrection life within us, joining Jesus in what he’s up to in the world. We call on others to join us—not in removing ourselves from planet Earth, but to plant our feet more firmly on the Earth while our spirits soar in the heavens of God’s pleasure and purpose. We are not of this world, but we live in this world for the Lord’s rights and interests. We, collectively, as the ekklesia of God, are Christ in and to this world.

May God have a people on this earth who are a people of Christ, through Christ, and for Christ. A people of the cross. A people who are consumed with God’s eternal passion, which is to make his Son preeminent, supreme, and the head over all things visible and invisible. A people who have discovered the touch of the Almighty in the face of his glorious Son. A people who wish to know only Christ and him crucified, and to let everything else fall by the wayside. A people who are laying hold of his depths, discovering his riches, touching his life, and receiving his love, and making HIM in all of his unfathomable glory known to others."

You can read the entire Jesus Manifesto HERE. It is excellent, but seems to be pretty standard orthodox theology to me. What do you think? Has the Church today really forgotten Jesus? In what ways?

Suffering that is Apparently Bearable

“Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years, and without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.” -- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

From Fellowship to Enterprise

"In the beginning the church was a fellowship of men and women centered on the living Christ. Then the church moved to Greece, where it became a philosophy. Then it moved to Rome, where it became an institution. Next, it moved to Europe, where it became a culture. And, finally, it moved to America, where it became an enterprise." -- Richard Halverson, former chaplain of the US Senate.

Source: The Divine Commodity by Skye Jethani

The New Apologists

In the culture war dominated much of the 1980’s and 1990’s the church has often taken an argumentative and aggressive political posture, mainly over homosexuality and abortion. That posture led to a perception of moral and religious superiority of Christians. The posture bullied through certain initiatives, but also alienated countless people from the faith.

Recently bookstores have been bombarded by the New Atheists. No fewer than five books have appeared on bestseller lists in the past two years–Sam Harris’s The End of Faith and Letter to a Christian Nation, Daniel Dennett’s Breaking the Spell, Richard Dawkins’s The God Delusion and now Christopher Hitchens’s God Is Not Great. These books all take a militant stance against religion, claiming that not only is faith irrational, it is harmful to society. 

While the impact of these books upon society at large is yet to be seen, I believe the Church must begin to re-evaluate the way in which we engage culture. We have to begin to flip the perception of our own superiority and hypocrisy;  take a posture of grace over judgment; and be honest and straightforward about our faults and our hope for transformation in Jesus. We must figure out how speak the Truth in love.

I believe that Tim Keller and N.T. Wright have figured out a way to do this in two of their recent works. 

In The Reason for God Tim Keller addresses the seven biggest objections and doubts about Christianity that he has encountered as pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan. While in light of our current cultural moment, Keller’s head-on approach might be perceived as a bit abrasive, his arguments were solid and the questions he addressed were indeed the major objections to the faith of our time.

Personally, I preferred N.T. Wright’s approach in Simply Christian. Rather than responding to the culture’s objections, Wright points to four “echoes of a voice” - the universal cry for justice, spirituality, relationship and beauty within the human heart. He then shows how Christianity addresses each of these in a unique and powerful way and how the Church can and should reflect this in the world today.

To be honest, I have never been terribly impressed with all of the arguments for Christianity, butthe story captivates me. While there are tremendous arguments for the faith, and Keller provides some of the best, we learn who God really is only in the story of what God has done in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Rather than argue for the faith, Wright taps into humanity’s deepest longings for justice, our hunger for spirituality and relationship, and our delight in beauty, and convinces us that we are hearing “echoes of a voice” – and it is in the story of Jesus that we “recognize the voice whose echoes we have heard.”

To be fair, in the second half of the book Keller lays out his reasons for faith and takes a very similar approach to Wright. In fact, I really enjoyed the second half of the book much more than the first. I wonder if he or the publisher ever thought of reversing the order. It would seem to me that after centuries of debate the world is not primarily looking for reasons why their views are wrong, but for reasons to believe.

On the other hand, I really did enjoy the way in which Keller handled each objection. His responses were creative and yet rooted in orthodoxy. For example, the notion of God as the judge is, in our culture, one of the most difficult declarations for people to accept. Our culture likes tolerance better than judgment, or at least that’s what we like to think. Keller did well to point out that other cultures around the world, though, find the mercy of God more offensive than the justice of God, feeling that His mercy is a sign of weakness.

Keller set God’s judgment within the context of the biblical narrative. He explained that judgment is about moving the story of God’s redemptive plan forward by curbing, containing, or destroying evil. The goal is seen in Ephesians 1:10-11 where we learn that history is moving to Christ’s life filling all things. This will require the subduing of all that refuses to be filled, and this subduing is judgment. We say we don’t like judgment, but we really do, when understood in this light. We like it when ‘cancer’ is subdued so that it doesn’t spread. Most people were happy when the holocaust ended. We like it when pedophiles are contained so that they can no longer inflict their damage on young lives. So, before we get too bothered by the notion of God as a judge, we must consider the reality that most of us really do look forward to the containment of death, evil, and suffering. Such containment is judgment, and perhaps the best being in the universe to orchestrate that containment is God.

Today it is politically correct to avoid any discussion about judgment, to believe that all roads lead to the pot of spiritual gold at the end of rainbow. Keller and Wright both point out that this is not only a contradiction to the Bible, it’s a contradiction to the real world, where evil things happen at the hands of people. God’s judgment is therefore motivated by both love and justice. Containment of evil is an act of love and justice for the whole of creation, eventuating in blessing and fullness of life for all who are willing to receive it. Of course, even this argument is rooted in God’s story.

I am thankful for the New Apologists. 

Scandalous Love

I had the opportunity to teach about my all-time favorite story in our services this weekend - the parable of the Prodigal Son. Most of my thoughts were developed by reading The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen and a sermon series by Rick McKinley. 

If you'd like to take a listen go HERE.